The Theme of Home

I love a good still life and by arranging my fruits and vegetables in bowls the other day, I got one.  That sentence is like the most boring sentence anyone could ever hope not to read on a blog.  I wanted to post these pretty pictures and move on…

Finding an amazing, affordable, comfortable, well-attended, and quiet apartment in NYC is like trying to find a tropical sea turtle in a lake in Massachussetts. Ya really can’t…find…one…unless you pay $8,000/month.  I, in my six and a half years here, have managed to find a semi-oasis in several cases, but accent on the semi.  There is always something lacking and I am not being picky.  There’s always a couple of pieces of the equation of perfection, but then there are ALWAYS headaches.

For instance, my first apartment in NYC was in Sunset Park, a neighborhood in the Southern end of Brooklyn populated by Latino families and cheap produce stands.  My room was part of a two-story apartment in a brownstone with parquet floors, a fireplace in my room, with wide windows, decorative mouldings and gorgeous tin ceilings with two bathrooms and a backyard! My room was also just $125 per month more than my apartment in Upstate NY where I lived alone was! This all sounds perfect right?  Well, I didn’t mention that my room was formerly the dining room and I had a sheet to divide my room from the kitchen and shared common rooms because I only had three walls… Also, I lived with a militant vegan straight-edge guy, who I started dating and then quickly realized was not for me. I don’t have to elaborate there. The neighborhood was a majestic mix of beautiful and disheveled old buildings and the renters of these places were VERY fond of blasting music to ear-piercing decibels from their cars, boom boxes, what-have-you.  It was party time all the time. I would awaken at like 7am to these songs penetrating my pores, shaking me awake…we’re all acquainted with the power of subwoofers and I grew too acquainted with.

Lastly, the location was off of the N train, which for some reason at this time took an hour to get to my job every day. I was spending two+ hours a day in transit to and fro my job. I moved…

I am a fashion designer/artist and always have had a use for extra space for a “studio”. The next stop was an artist-laden loft space with seven roommates.  The price was really great for how much space I had, but to make a long story short, it was full of crazy people, the loft should have been condemned, it smelled weird, the floors above would produce a layer of dirt/particles all over me upon awaking in the morning…

–no one cleaned

–people had parties constantly and people would throw beer cans on the floor

–a pigeon took up residence above the main door and no one fixed it and I can go on into disgusting detail, but let me spare you…

Other apartments thereafter had their fare share of annoyances and crap and currently, I am in the most pretty and homey of any apartment in NYC I have had…but I have an insane landlord:

–he wants to be everyone’s best friend

–he is here at least 3x a week

–he calls me and texts me all the time

–instead of knocking on my door unannounced, he screams my name from the hallway to get my attention when he’s here

–he’s always hours late for appointments and shows up unannounced to fix things or do things

–he doesn’t pick up on social cues, i.e. when I am obviously busy and flustered he’ll still bang on my door for the 15th time that day to tell me he picked grapes in the backyard and “try this one, try this one, try this one”………

……..I haven’t even gotten to my crazy neighbors…

All in all, it must just be simply impossible not to have something bothersome in New York. It’s part of the game.  It’s part of life. Everyone has crazy neighbors, an absent or overbearing landlord, leaks, drips, faulty wiring, loud trains next door, a long subway ride, no transportation, gunshots, yuppies, children everywhere, what have you.  We’re all in this mess together.  If it really was so bad, I’d just move upstate, eh?



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