Junk Mail

I don’t know about you, but I get waaaay too much snail mail from all over the spectrum of N/A to me or what I buy.

I don’t know how they do it, but they find you and solicit your butt off.  In the last two years, I have gotten car insurance, car consolidation loan, car trading, and car leasing information from a dozen companies.  I haven’t owned a car since 2005.

They also managed to somehow pinpoint that my supposed car is a “Hyundai”, as several companies have offered me better insurance deals on my Korean make, and some have even offered up better car choices for me.  Upon receiving my first group of papers for car-related stuff, I freaked out and called the Social Security Office.  I was convinced that someone had stolen my identity and bought a car… I was wrong. They are just that creepy.

books

Another slew of letters I have gotten lately have been from The New York Review of Books.  I read.. A LOT, but how did they find me?  I always buy secondhand books on amazon.com, but how the hell would …

I am guessing that some or most of my mail is related to one giant conglomerate of snail mail dispersers… like the Hain Celestial Group of snail mail.  (If you don’t know them, look them up, they own everything natural food. )

Last night, I decided to move my many spices into simple jars.  What better tool to make out of a piece of snail mail, than a funnel!?

Spice Funnel

I don’t even know what they expect us to do with this paper.  The unspoken up until now, is how freaking wasteful this is, this trend of blind solicitation.  I estimate that in a single year, I get 312 pieces of UNWANTED & UNWARRANTED snail mail (that’s a lowball of just 6 pieces per week).  I’m just one person. Multiply this possible letter amount by the people in the U.S…

312 x 307,006,550

(pieces of mail x Google’s public data estimate of residents of the U.S. in 2009)

= 95,786,043,600

F*CK. that’s 95 BILLION PIECES OF MAIL PER YEAR BEING DISPERSED.

Now, I just made those numbers up based on how much I get and the population count also includes children, who don’t get mail, but I am sure that business owners, families of five, and other especially alluring peoples get more junkmail than me. In any case, even if you cut that number into thirds, it’s horrific.

Let’s keep letters for love & penpals.  Email is a beautiful thing.

forest