Storytime

I was just published today in the great storytelling blog, Loop. I wrote a story corresponding to the theme of “running away”. Originally, I was going to write the gory tale of getting myself lost in NYC alone at 9 or 10 but seeing as it’s holidaytime, I opted for something more bittersweet.

Runaways

Here it is and then a link to the rest:

Run, Child
by Desira Pesta

Growing up an outcast in Scranton, Pennsylvania, I’d often dreamed of running away and being someone else. I ran away often. My family owned a suburban home in our large town and sandwiched between other homes belonging to people we couldn’t stand, I felt trapped.

At school, I traversed the halls with my head down, picking it up only to answer questions in class, to be engaged with my studies and nearly nothing else. I ran away constantly to the minds and bodies of others in works of fiction and non, burying my head in books, sometimes laying out in the sun and finishing a whole novel in one sitting. I also ran away through my own works of fiction, by the time I reached sixth grade, I would complete one nearly full-length novel with characters who were on physical journeys, the journeys I would take with them. I played other people in my spare time as well. Years and years before Twilight and Harry Potter would debut, I hunted and escaped bites from my vampire neighbor who kept a garlic wreath on his door; and used my amulets and amethyst stones to procure magic in my neighbors yard. I was constantly bobbing up and down between fantasy and reality, tying real life into the dreams and fictions I lived out in my head. I sometimes had accomplices in my journeys, a best friend named Michael who was equally in need of escapism. I once ruined a brand new outfit after dunking myself in a pool of mud as I was tried as a witch in Salem and found guilty, my mother ready to punish me as I emerged from my dream.

The beautiful thing about my hippie family was our large property in the woods just a few miles from our home. We planned to build there one day, but until then, we just spent 2-4 days a week in the woods. It was here that I lived out my greatest escapes. I ran blindly through the fields of trees I knew as well as the back of my hand; and took off at lightning speed escaping imaginary captors, wicked warlocks, and sometimes just a life as an orphan. My parents let us roam far and wide in this woods, knowing we knew our way, but once, I went too far. For hours I walked and walked, weaving in and out of paths, following no clear direction and after the sun was lowering in the sky, I knew I was lost. Weaving this reality into my tale du jour, I decided that I would sleep in a burrow I would carve out, eat some of the plentiful teaberries and raspberries I knew the woods grew, and drink from the cool clear creek that undulated and turned through the length of the acreage we had. I was not afraid, I was an experienced warrior in the forests of my ancestors and I would emerge a hero at journey’s end. As the sun was setting, I grew not scared, but despondent, the thought that my parents would freak out broke my excitement and fervor for my adventure. I wasn’t afraid of the dark, or so I thought. Taking up screaming “hello!??” for a while, while walking in what I felt was the direction towards the car, I somehow reunited with my parents and made my way to my home, my fantastic journey thwarted by stoplights and radio banter.

A few months later, during the summertime, my sister, her friend and I set off on an epic adventure, following the creek that ran northward through our property and up to the next. We forged the creek, which sometimes poured down rocks and sometimes merely trickled. We climbed up steep embankments, braving the 90 degree angles using all fours to continue. At one point, the path grew perilous and the steep walls that we would have to cover to continue following were very difficult to cross. As I groped and footed my way across the wall, I started to slip.

Grasping for leaves and roots around me, I found no savior and tumbled into the cold pool of water below. Fully under and splashing, I emerged to hear my sister screaming for my help above, despite the fact that I had already reached the place she was afraid of heading. Her friend grabbed her and helped her to safety further on the bank and I made my way out. Fully drenched from head to toe, my thirteen-year-old self declared that I would get frostbite and I removed my pants. We decided that in efforts to save my life, we should head back. An hour later, we caught site of my father up ahead, chopping wood. Seeing my pants-less legs, he yelled “What’s wrong with you?” Weird people were living in the woods and I would be an easy target for foul play.

I proudly declared that I didn’t want to get frostbite and he brashly replied, “you can’t get frostbite in 50 degrees”.

I hated my town and left for college as soon as I could, but over the years, I have gotten a pain and it’s deepened as time goes by. Since leaving, I have found myself, found “my people” and ideologies and adventures in real life; and as much as I wanted to escape the place I found to be so unbearable as a young person, I come back to it. I miss it. I miss the things that plagued me as a child, that I wanted to replace. Our shabby chic home, I wished was more grand, the tractor I had to drive to cut the grass or the two ton duel wheel pickup truck of my dad’s that I drove to high school when everyone else drove BMWs, Mercedes, and Lexus’. We were different, I was different and it took running away from this place to make me come to a realization that this is just fine, in fact, it is awesome.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!!!! I don’t know what everyone has planned, but I hope it’s a great night for all. Here’s a moment I love from a hell of  movie:

The Day After (sale, etc. )

I hope that whatever everyone celebrates, they had a great last few days. My Christmas was a small gathering, but it was nice and everyone was happy, even the dog, who couldn’t stop wagging her tail since Friday.

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I am having a big sale in my Etsy shop on all belts:
Buy two, get 30% off your entire order including shipping
[use coupon code: { christmasbelt11 } at checkout ]

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Belts of all kinds —-> shop

In other news, me and my hippie biker parents are en route to the original site of Woodstock. They’ve been there 500 times, including those days in 1969, but this is my first time.

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I’ll be taking photos, although it’s just a big ole field. I’m sure the feelings and vibes are still strong though. :)

Happy Monday!

Home is Where the Baggage is

If you celebrate Christmas, it’s almost time.  Last week, some of my theater friends and I visited the professionally lit Christmas lights of the wealthy Brooklyn neighborhood, Dyker Heights. Blocks were ablaze and aflutter with gargantuan displays of larger-than-life Santas, nutcrackers, reindeer, carolers, and other fine blow-ups and statues. We frolicked to and fro each house’s display, each more ridiculous and more successful than the last. It was midnight, yet houses were still doubling their electrical bills by the minute, gleaming, glowing, shooting primary colored lights into the atmosphere.

If you’ve been to Brooklyn, you know that each section of it, or neighborhood, looks drastically different from the next.  They range from breathtaking and regal (Brooklyn Heights) to eclectic and seafaring (Red Hook) to dystopian and ramshackle (Bushwick), yet one thing seems to tie them and the rest of NYC property together, houses are small and tightly woven.  With that said, Dyker Heights is an exception.  Reminiscent of the suburbs where I grew up in Pennsylvania, houses span 3,000-4,000 sq. ft., they measure at least 2 stories tall and unlike almost every building in NYC, they are single family.

I’ve lived in NYC for the last six years and so my expectations for and requirements of my living situations have changed drastically since leaving my parents three story home with yard ten years ago. I no longer want to take the tudor mansion when playing the game of LIFE. What would I put in it’s cavernous walls? What would I do with all of those closets, kitchen cabinets, bathrooms, and multiple garages? I do not know.

LIFE! Who didn't love it.

I now crave the tiny intimate quarters of the bungalow offered, or even the hurricane hideaway. I no longer need three to four bathrooms nor a bedroom big enough to roller skate in with a walk-in closet (actually, I take that back, I will accept a walk-in in place of an office) Anyway, living in New York, as opposed to say, Texas, gives us a much greater appreciation for space and a much decreased need for a heck of a lot of it.

In Dyker Heights, or should I say, Metropolitan Mansion Heights, they sure have a lot [of space].  What would have seemed normal seeing ten years ago, I now was prompted to scream out things like, “Holy shit!”, “single family??!!”, or “whata-whata-whata is that!?” when driving by.

Big Ole Mess

Growing up, and unbeknownest to me because of the size of other local homes, my parents house was masssive. We had three floors to live on plus a basement and garage and yard and acres and acres of woods. With that, came a large collection and amassing of stuff.  We, like goldfish, grow within the confines of the space we have. I had chairs and tables I bought from antique stores, clothing, shoes, snowsuits, dance shoes, soccer/basketball/sporting good items, games, drawings, paintings, art supplies, sewing machines, fabric, many many blankets and bed linens for different seasons, tools, ephemera, dishes… stuff…extra stuff…and spare stuff… When I moved away for college and was presented with half of a normal sized room, which I had to share with another lass, I shed some excess baggage.  Over the years, I moved into a bigger dorm room, then a house with a massive bedroom, which I didn’t know what to do with. I pushed all of my furniture to the periphery, unsure of how to use the space.

The most life-altering move of all was studying abroad in Italy. I could only bring what would fit in a large suitcase and a backpacking pack.  Weeks before the trip, I packed. Over the remaining weeks, I would take everything out, reduce my load and pack again.  Right before the trip, I had done this ritual many more times, re-assessing how much I wanted to literally put on my back, weighing how much worth and need each item had. Ultimately, I had quite a small amount for going thousands of miles away and I thanked myself for my dedication to my back.  Every weekend my school had a trip for us, visiting various towns in Italy, some requiring an overnight stay. Each trip, I packed a tiny backpack with one change of clothing, toothbrush, and snacks, a very manageable amount.  I laughed at the girls, lugging GIANT suitcases on-board the bus for less than a twenty-four hour trip. How could they possibly need these?  For Fall break, I decided to go to England and Spain.  I also decided to test myself. I, for one whole week, allowed myself only a backpack. It was a breeze getting on and off the planes, as well as traveling by bus from the airport and then by subway or cab to the hostel or room. I could also hide my bag in the shared room that first night and store it safely in a locker during the day. From this travel all over Italy, as well as Spain & England and a one month stay on a farm in the very north of Italy in the Alps and back to the U.S., I realized that we don’t need a hell of a lot to live.

Back in New York state, I moved and moved and moved again and became more accustomed to living in both tiny places and big spaces interchangeably.  Needing to move at least once a year once in Brooklyn, I gained and lost and gained and gained stuff as each new home dictated it’s quota. At one point, while subletting, I had a room literally   5′ x 10′ and I didn’t bat an eye. I would have loved more legroom, but rent was cheap and my needs were small.

This past summer I stayed with my cousin in LA for two months. I had a hard time deciding how to present myself as a New Yorker in Southern California and like the Italy preparations, I dueled over what to go with. Ultimately, I brought a large suitcase and yet found myself wearing a lot of the same things over and over and over again.I shouldn’t even have brought as much as I had.

I’m not trying to pretend that I haven’t increased my load in recent years, especially because of my clothing business, but I have become more conscious of what is essential and what is not.  I still struggle with letting things go or with not buying things I like, yet I am much more brash when it’s purging time.  In the end, after all this moving and changing, I have realized that it isn’t my stuff that makes up who I am.  When we have less and limit ourselves, our needs diminish. Instead of filling every nook and crany of our blank spaces and square footage and consuming more and more of what this crazy world tells us we should have; we should focus on having the things that really count.

Dressing Up!


Glamour of the 50′s, A Lost Art

Last night, my friend Chiara and I gushed over how much we like clothes on our way home from a dinner party.  She and I both agreed that playing dress-up as a grown woman is one of our favorite things, yet it’s also hard to pull off sometimes.  She has several vintage Chanel suits that she would love to don with her vintage white gloves, (so popular in the 50′s and a necessity for any woman going to Manhattan for the day from Brooklyn, like her mother did), but she can’t quite bring herself to do it.  Perhaps it’s the somewhat extinct convention of dressing up for going out everyday that is no longer exactly embraced on say, the Manhattan-bound F train from Brooklyn.  With ample stares from her fellow travelers, I could imagine Chiara appearing to be a fish out of water in the seas of black peacoats from Macy’s and denim jeans.

I know that there are scores of brave men, women, and children who do go beyond the vernacular and have a really wonderful style (the Sartorialist has proven this), but it’s still, tough.

The Sartorialist Captures Some Grace

I am one of those people who tends to have lost her filter as to what looks normal versus kinda nutty, but even still, I would love to go bigger and more over-the-top when it comes to dressing.  I had an ex-boyfriend who once claimed that he was embarrassed by the way I dressed and that I was just doing it “for attention”.  This marked the end of my feelings for him because he obviously didn’t get me.  I don’t dress up for attention, I dress up because I freaking love clothes! I love costumes and color relationships and sculptural clothing and fantastic details and incredible fabrics and costumes and period clothing and architecture and “putting together a look”.  Like Chiara, I wish the times when all women took extreme pride in the way they dressed, when fashion wasn’t just for movie stars and the cultural elite, the art fringes or off-kilter subcultures were still here. Everyone participated.  People in 1940′s Upper East Side  might not mirror those of say, 1940′s Wisconsin stock car racers, but they all sure as hell avoided wearing pajamas to the mall (happens in my hometown in PA).

Wisconsin Stock Car Racers

Things fit better, clothing wasn’t manufactured for quick sale and even quicker disposal.  Clothing was often handmade, careworn, cherished, and flaunted.

Seriously.
We Love You, Lucy, All Dolled Up

Even on television shows like, I Love Lucy, the characters were always dressed, even when cleaning at home.  Culture has changed and I shouldn’t bash it, but leaving a cocktail dress for a fancy event instead of just cocktails, well that’s no fun.  I have SO MANY dresses and outfits in my clothing arsenal, but I can’t seem to find too many occasions to flaunt them. My roommate has spent thousands of dollars on beautiful independent designer pieces that she views as art, but they decorate her closet complete with original tags.  She never finds a reason to actually wear them and resorts to jeans and tshirts every day. What a shame! I always implore her to go for it and swathe herself in her beautiful things, but she feels too shy, they aren’t what everybody else wears. She should bite the bullet and showcase these wonderful and just slightly unconventional wares. I think she should. I think I should. I think we all should.

Happy Monday!

Here are some belts to bring you back to the days of corsets and fitted waists:

Belts on Etsy! Click for link.

Silent Era No More


Things are looking up for ole Desira.

My dedication to acting has started to really pay off and I am getting excited!! For the last two years, I have been taking a variety of classes, workshops, improv, intensive programs, casting director meet and greets, seminars, informational meetings, auditions, & have been part of films, tv shows, commercials, print ads, a theater company, and life.  This summer I spent 2 months in Los Angeles, where I enrolled in the SAG Conservatory Intensive Summer Workshop Series, which was about 40 hours of auditions, cold readings, improv, industry Q & A’s, seminars, and classes.  I also was thankfully selected among a 100 applicants to participate in 13-one on one meetings with LA Casting Directors as part of the SAG LGBT Seminar this summer.  A week afterwards, I took part in the Deena Levy Theatre Studio Weekend Intensive, a life-changing event… In October I worked as the costume designer on the independent feature, Yaatra, shot in NYC.  I have been going at this nearly full-throttle.  The next step is getting an agent and really getting to work!

With that said, I had scheduled an audition at One on One for the end of November and then decided to reschedule it for after December 1st, to really allow myself time to work on the two contemporary monologues they requested for the audition.  I had one picked and down and was practicing it like crazy, but couldn’t find another that suited me or excited me.  One of my theater company buddies and I had talked about both setting up auditions at One on One to motivate each other, but he wound up going in several weeks before me.  When I told him that I had finally set up my audition time, he implored me to wait, to work my butt off on the monologues with critique because it was much harder to get in that he thought.  He had not gotten in, but was well-liked by the casting director and told to come in again soon.  Said friend was worried about my sake and said that they were only admitting 30% of those who auditioned and I really needed to be at the top of my game.  Two days before the event, I was wavering.  Friend had made me nervous.  The next day, I called to ask about their cancellation policy.  I didn’t get a hold of anyone, so I waited.  Then, something hit me and made me decide to say, “No, I am ready.” I decided to throw myself into the monologues, practicing like a zealot, adjusting, altering, and finessing my delivery the night prior.  I also set about really developing these characters for myself.  I created their stories, their backgrounds, where they lived, who their familes were, what kind of demeanors they had.  I wrote and wrote, making the monologues’ words on a page, my own. I didn’t sleep as well as I had hoped that night, but I woke up ready.  The day’s rain thrashed against my house and made for uninviting exteriors to venture out to.

I decided on a vintage 1960′s dress for myself to wear.  The two monologues I had selected were very different in period, environment, and character, but it’s best to wear something flattering. My busted umbrella hardly fought off the rain, but I made my way to the offices, furthering the stories of my characters on the walk, the subway, and in the waiting room.  I don’t know what brings this on, but lately, I have become very able to feel alien in my environment and disengage myself from myself and my surroundings.  I psyched myself out in the waiting room, becoming the livid woman I needed to be for the first monologue.  I wrote out countless things that would make me this way, recounting people, events, and feelings that brought on immense anger, rage, and frustration.

I got called into the audition room about a half hour late, so I had that extra half hour to prepare.  I went in, did my thing, talked briefly with the CD, who drilled me on my training, classes I have taken and are taking, and he sent me off with the promise of letting my know my acceptance within 24 hours.  I was sincerely uncertain of what he thought of my audition and I was leaning towards, no because of his somewhat neutral reaction towards me.

My theater company was holding new member auditions uptown all day, so I set out to watch and read to the  applicants, which was both a blast and an utterly baffling experience–the latter because of the insane asylum-worthy few who showed up at our door.  One woman, who had come completely unprepared with so much as a scene to read with us, refused to leave the premises for over an hour; spouting promises that she was so amazing, we needed to have her with us, despite her inability to contribute to our monthly member dues. I digress in efforts to avoid speaking distastefully.  We got some really stellar auditioners and made some careful and sometimes easy choices for who we would admit.  After a few hours, I got an email from One on One.  Afraid to open it, wanting to leave my disappointment for when I was alone, I caught sight of the word, “congratulations”. Shocked, I opened the email to see that I had been accepted!  Oh my word.

It was a wonderful magical day and after spending six of the nine  hours watching and participating in the new member auditions for 68 Cent, I am so excited to see how our company grows and morphs with the new talent we’ve added.

xoxo Happy Weekend!

Desira

Video Arsenal

Mr. Big Cover Song

The Monster

Threadbanger.com How To Sewing Video

Desira Pesta’s // Williamsburg Fashion Weekend 2010 Show Video

Costumes Designed/Sewn by & Desira Pesta // Performance

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Monologue

Annie Hall // Ending Monologue

ME LOVE VINTAGE DEUX

Some great vintage in the shop

1960s Polka Dot Mod Mini Dress  // size 6 // $45

1970s Mod White A-Line Dress with Detailing // Size 6 // $39 on Etsy

And lots more here !

HAPPY MONDAY!

ME LOVE VINTAGE

Some great vintage in the shop

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VINTAGE Yves Saint Laurent Heels// Size 9.5 // $45

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Amazing 60′s Mod Floral Dress // size 4 // $35

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Vintage Never Worn Basketweave Heels // Size 6.5 // $45

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VTG Reworked Peachy Pink Dress with Organic Cotton Belt // $30

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VINTAGE Never Worn Pink & White Leather Strappy Sandals // size 6 // $35

And lots more here !

HAPPY SUNDAY!